Musings

A Year of Lessons

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The year has gone by fast. By ‘the year’, I mean last year because this post was supposed to go up before 2018 closed its eyes. One minute the blog is down because the nice people at the domain company decided to ignore my payment, and the next, it’s January and I have gone about […]

Musings

Becoming

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becoming

You will take ages to decide and when you finally do, you will never stop wondering whether you chose well.

Musings

First Impressions

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first impressions

When I decided to go back to school after I had just finished school, even I wasn’t sure what I was doing. But I was okay with being in school; the school environment is comfortable for me. What I am not comfortable with is meeting new people. Starting from scratch. Smiling at strangers. Squirming in […]

Musings

Go, See Someone

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dawn

This year began horribly for me. 2018 was only a couple of weeks old and I was adjusting to not being in school anymore. Which means I was stressed out looking for people who wanted to hire someone who didn’t have 5 years’ experience. I was heading for an interview that day, running late, going […]

Musings

Pieces of My Life

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procrastination

Here is some advice: Your procrastination is not your friend. And it is horrible for your anxiety. Trust me, I’ve been burned. I have been to the place where all those ‘tomorrows’ you think never come finally call a meeting, decide to #resist, and lie in wait to ambush you. I barely made it out […]

Musings

The Sneer on Tomorrow’s Face

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At long last, you are done. You did it. You went to school and you managed not to drop out no matter how much you wanted to during those days when you had to stay up all night cramming for an exam that you had vowed to prepare properly for at the beginning of the […]

Musings

Free, Fearless

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fearless

I had been waiting for that matatu to fill up for about fifteen minutes.  I was getting antsy. But there was nowhere else to go; the mats to Westlands from Odeon were too far away for my aching feet and the crowded road there too daunting for my anxiety. Context: a month and a half […]

Musings

Meanings of Art

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art

The event had barely started when we walked in. I was glad. I hate going into places when things have already been set in motion because my anxieties then tell me that they are all staring at me, scrutinizing, judging, mocking, even though I know they are not. It was a small place, not at […]

Musings

Waiting

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waiting

I don’t like hospitals. I never have. When my family goes to see a sick relative in hospital, I produce every possible argument against my going in. I also lose that fight because, well, when someone is on a hospital bed it’s nice to go in to see them and express your confidence that they […]

Musings

Rest

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rest

I once read a storybook about poaching, I can’t remember what it was called. It was about these three children whose father was a warden in a national park in Kenya, I can’t remember which one. The story begins with them striking a deal with their father: if they did well the following term in […]